I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
