why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
