RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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