Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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