My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize