i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize