and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
