I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
