and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
