god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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