I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
