My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
