well I can't set my house on fire every night
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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