Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
