My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize