My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
