sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
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