she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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