She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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