He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
