So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Found your dick twin last night
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
