I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
