I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize