I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
