Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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