but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize