Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
