Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
why do cheetos always look like penises
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
