i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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