:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In other news, I just burned my penis
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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