I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
