We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
