Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
