Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
