Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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