Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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