At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
