ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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