i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
