We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
