I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
