Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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