So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
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Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
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I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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