I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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