I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
