Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize