i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
