What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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