were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
