dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
