In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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