You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
