My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I look better un-naked...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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