i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
