We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
