It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
