WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
a search helicopter?!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
