I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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