Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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