Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
