just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
