we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
