I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
